Sober January is a disaster.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
