so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
