i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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