Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
