Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
