Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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