Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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