Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No stitches, just platelets and will power
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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