if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Found the puke drawer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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