marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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