Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
