I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
