You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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