i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
