who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
