Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
