talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
