I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
