did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
