my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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