maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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