Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
