"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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