His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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