Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
