sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize