My girlfriend figured out who you are.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
