Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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