Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
