U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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