You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
