Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
