I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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