So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
