Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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