i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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