I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
