There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
