SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
