If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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