I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
