now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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