Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
