We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
