So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
