just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
