East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
