I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
