Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
