Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
