you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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