So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
