Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
