This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
