There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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