just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
