I was born with a shot glass in my hand
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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