talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize