why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
