and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
